Once you have made contact with someone through email that you think shows some promise, it’s time to think about the next step. Once you feel comfortable with someone in email and possibly in chat, it’s time for a phone conversation.

Is it really important to talk on the phone before you meet? Some people think it is, some people think it isn’t. It’s a good idea just because it is one more process that you can use to weed out someone before you are trapped on a date with that person.

You may have gotten wonderful romantic emails from this person but you don’t know how long it took that person to write the emails, or even if they wrote the emails or if someone else wrote them instead. It’s easy to sound witty and clever and romantic in an email.

When you are talking on the phone with a person, you can tell if that person has decent social skills and can carry on a conversation. The other person may have spent hours writing the emails that turned your head, but when you talk to that person and have a real conversation, you will know if the person is really as funny and witty and clever as the emails made him or her seem.

Talking on the phone will also help you get a better sense of what the other person is really like. It’s difficult to decide if you want to date someone based only on words on a screen. You need to hear the other person’s voice and how they speak in order to know if you’re really interested in meeting them.

Plus, talking on the phone gives you a chance to be more comfortable with that person before you meet for the first time. If someone really wants to meet you but doesn’t want to talk on the phone, it might be a red flag that the person is a bully or worse.

It’s your choice whether you want to talk on the phone with a potential date before meeting him or her in real life but many online dating experts agree that it’s a good idea for many reasons.

So once you have emailed a few times and you feel like there is potential with a particular person, email that person and ask him or her If they agree it’s time for that first phone call and set up a “phone date.”

Some signs that someone might not be a person that you want to have a relationship with are very subtle and may not really come through until you have exchanged a few emails or talked on the phone a few times and are really starting to get to know each other. Here are some clues that your new dating partner might be hiding something from you, like a spouse.

“Don’t call me, I’ll call you” – If you only have one phone number to use to contact your date and he or she says that you should only use that number in case of an emergency or if you call the number and it always goes straight to voicemail, that is not a good sign. Even if the person is not hiding something you should not always have to wait for the other person to call when it’s convenient for him or her.

Calling at odd hours – If your date can only talk to you after 3 AM, or after 8 AM, or calls randomly throughout the day but hangs up quickly, your date might be trying to hide phone calls to you from a spouse or another date.

Staying in all the time – If all of your dates consist of take out and movies at your place then your date might be scared that his or her spouse or someone who knows both of them might see you two out at a restaurant or movie.

Movie and take out dates can be a lot of fun, but if that’s all the two of you ever seem to do then there might be a reason your date wants to stay in all the time.

Also, if the person you’re dating doesn’t want his or her friends to meet you or resists the idea of parties or other group gatherings, it could be that your new date is trying to hold an old spouse.

No family talk – When people are getting to know one another they usually will talk about their families. If your date is hesitant to discuss family details, he or she may be afraid that they will slip up and mention a spouse.

Bring out a photo album of your family and while you are showing off pictures, ask your date if he or she has any family photos that you can see. If the date says no or seems uncomfortable, he or she might be hiding something.

Unwilling to bring you home – If you always meet at your house and the other person seems reluctant or unwilling to take you to his or her place, it could be because there is someone else at home that they don’t want you to know about.

If your new partner is already married or is living with someone and is in a serious relationship then there will be a lot of signs that might give away that fact.

Not everyone that you meet through an online dating service is going to be player, or a jerk, or someone who isn’t interested in finding a long term relationship but some of them definitely are. You need to be wary of dating a new person just like you would be if you were meeting someone to date in a more traditional way.

Just like when you meet someone in a more traditional way, there will be clues that the other person is hiding something from you or that something is just not right on their end. The person might be married, might be just looking for sex, or might just have his or her own agenda and not really be interested in relationships. There are a lot of reasons that people might use an online dating service even if they are not that interested in a relationship.

It’s important to stress that you are not more likely to end up having a player answer your online dating ad than you are likely to meet one in a bar or somewhere else. Players are everywhere, and if you are not looking for a serious relationship then that might be the perfect partner for you.

But if you are looking for a serious relationship, it would be upsetting to start dating someone and start to develop feelings for that person only to find out that the person is married, emotionally unavailable, or just a jerk that isn’t really worth your time.

Usually, you don’t have to wait to find out if your online date is a player, a jerk, or has some issues. There are always clues in the person’s profile that will let you know what the person is really like. If the profile seems fine then read carefully through the email that he or she sent to you.

When you are reading the other person’s words, look closely for phrases that might indicate trouble. Language that seems overly bitter, hostile, or mean is a red flag that the person might have anger issues. Giving out too much personal information, like listing the medications they are taking, can also be a red flag.

Let’s look at some of the other red flags that should tell you that you need to be wary of someone when you’re trying online dating.

RED FLAGS

Even the most sophisticated player will leave clues to their intentions somewhere in their online communication. Some will be very blatant, and some will be subtle and much harder to spot. Here are some of the most common situations you will find online that should always raise red flags in your mind.

Not everyone who sets off a red flag is going to be someone that is trying to deceive you, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Here are some red flags that you should spot right away.

TOO MUCH, TOO FAST

“Wow! As soon as I saw your photo I knew you were the one for me! You are fabulous! Are you smart? You sound smart too. I bet our children will be gorgeous and smart. Won’t we make a great family? Let’s meet as soon as possible. I just know you’re the one for me!”

If you receive an email from someone in response to your online profile and the person starts talking about how he or she fell in love with your photo, or knew from the words that you wrote that you two were meant to be, or uses other language that indicates the person has a great depth of feeling for you, this is a red flag.

Using language like that is inappropriate for a first email and indicates that the person might not be completely stable. Delete the email or reply with a simple “Thank you, but I’m not interested.”

BAD LANGUAGE AND GRAMMAR

“ RU usd to dating online? I have never done it much. It seeks pretty kool so far but hu nows? U should rite back soon so we can get to now each other better”

Now everyone makes mistakes, at times, when typing and not everyone majored in English in college, but if you receive an email from someone that is full of curse words and has a lot of glaring grammar mistakes and misused words, that is a red flag.

Regardless of the person’s education level, you don’t want to be with someone who can’t express him or herself without using curse words or using words incorrectly. It says that the person isn’t going to be able to communicate well in a relationship.

Sending emails full of mistakes also says that the person either doesn’t know how to use a spell check or doesn’t care enough to use it. Either way, someone who puts little or no effort into making a good first impression isn’t someone that you would want to date.

GRAPHIC EMAILS

“I’m very into alternative lifestyles, are you? I really like to explore boundaries. Have you been with a lot of people in the past? What kinds of things are you into? We should go out and talk about some of our interests. There’s a club in town having a bondage night next week; let’s go to that and you should wear some leather. I bet you’d look hot in it!”

If the first email that you get from someone is full of sexual innuendo or asks a lot of very personal questions about sex and your sexual preferences, that is a huge red flag.

Someone who is really interested a relationship with you would never ask those kinds of questions. Obviously, someone whose first email to you is full of graphic language is only looking for one thing. Delete those emails immediately unless that is the kind of relationship you’re looking for.

The email doesn’t have to be graphic to make you uncomfortable. Any email that asks any questions that seem overly invasive or personal to you should just be deleted.

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

“So anyway I was just laid off from my job as a CSR and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to swing rent this month. Good thing I don’t have my kids for a few weeks because I’m not sure I’ll have anyplace for them to sleep. Ha ha! But I’d really like for us to meet, although you might have to pay for dinner because I’m pretty broke right now. If this sounds good to you write me back!”

Anyone that writes you a book length email detailing all their problems with their job, ex-spouse, kids, life in general, health problems, financial problems, or other negative things is not someone you want to date. Anyone that gives out too much personal information in their first email is someone you should avoid.

BULLYING

“I sent you an email over an hour ago but you haven’t responded so I’m sending another. I think we should get together tonight. I want to meet in person right away so that neither of us wastes time if there’s no chemistry. Chemistry is very important to me so we should meet tonight, or tomorrow, to find out if we have it or not. I don’t want to waste my time. So call me or email me back immediately please so we can set up a time and place to meet. “

Anyone that sends an email like that to you should be ignored. Clearly, this person is not interested in you at all, and doesn’t care about your thoughts or feelings. The language also shows a very dominant, controlling nature, which is definitely something you want to avoid in a relationship.

Even though you might want to try and give everyone a chance, this type of an email is too big a red flag to ignore. Delete the email. Don’t even respond to the person.

ASKING FOR TOO MUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION

“So let’s get things started huh? What’s your full name? Where do you live? Do you own or rent? Let’s go out to dinner. I’ll call ahead and make reservations but they might require a credit card number to hold the reservation and I don’t have a credit card. Can we use yours? Send me your credit card number, expiration date and security code and I’ll make the reservation. I’ll pay for dinner, but I was planning to pay with cash. Send that info to me ASAP so I can make the reservation before they fill up!”

Anytime that someone asks for any personal information but especially personal financial information, you know that person is up to no good.

No one that really wants to date you is going to ask you for your financial history or your credit card or bank account information. This is a new twist on the classic scam of making a date with someone and then “forgetting” to bring a wallet with cash or a credit card.

It’s been said before but it’s worth repeating. Never give out your personal information online, especially financial information. If you are really concerned or if you want to be sure that the person writing you is trustworthy before you date them, consider having a background check done. You can have a background check done online if you know the person’s name and address. It’s an inexpensive way to get some peace of mind.

Once you have established email communication with a person that you might want to date, it’s time to try flirting a little through email. Flirting through email can be a little tricky because it’s sometimes hard to pick up the context of words on a screen but if you practice a little you can get the hang of it.

The key to being flirtatious through email is to really let your sense of humor show through. If your email flirting is really well done, the other person will be charmed and intrigued and will want to know more about you.

Humor is attractive and lightens up the interaction. Using humor, you can deflect any potentially awkward questions and you can also show that you can laugh at yourself and are approachable.

When you add a flirtatious note to your emails, it’s important not to be overly provocative. Asking a slight offbeat question with a romantic overtone is more flirtatious than a blatant sexual innuendo.

The best online flirting is warm and personal and sincere. For example, if your potential date has mentioned in a previous email that he or she has a hidden passion for playing the guitar instead of saying that playing the guitar is an interesting hobby, say that you love it that he or she plays the guitar because the guitar is such a passionate instrument.

If you get stuck when you are trying to think of some appropriately flirtatious questions that you can ask in an email, try asking one of these questions:

• If you could take a date anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

• What is the most romantic film you’ve ever seen?

• If you could only tell your date one thing about you to make them fall for you what would it be?

• What is your perfect date?

• What activities do you like to do on dates?

• What’s the most romantic story you’ve ever heard?

When you are communicating through email, there are certain rules of etiquette that you should follow, especially when you want to make a good impression. Writing a good email is important because it is usually what gives a new prospective date his or her first impression of you.

Here are some of the basic rules of email etiquette that you should follow when you are communicating by email:

• Use the same structure you would use for a letter

• Always use a spell check before you hit “send”

• Watch your grammar and punctuation

• Write in several small paragraphs instead of one large one

• Don’t request delivery and read receipts

• Keep your sentences short and to the point

• Write in text and not in HTML

• Don’t attach files unless the person you are emailing requested them

• Don’t keep sending emails if you don’t get a response right away

• Keep the tone of your writing warm but polite

• Don’t curse or swear

• Don’t use fancy fonts or insert pictures or animations

• Don’t use all capital letters

When you’re writing an email to someone on an online dating site, write it the same way you would write a business email. That will make a better impression than writing it the same way you would write an email to your best friend since high school.

Someone you find interesting has answered your great personal ad online. Now it’s up to you to send a great email in response; one that will make that person really want to know more about you. How can you create a great first impression using email? Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to help you write a great first email.

Don’t answer right away – Take some time to really craft your email to the new potential date. Have someone else read a draft of it before you send it and always use spell check before you send it. Make sure that your spelling and punctuation are correct. Just like in a resume, people look at spelling and punctuation.

Don’t make it too long – You don’t need to tell this person your entire life’s story. Write a few short paragraphs only. Reiterate key points from your profile, ask some questions for the other person to answer, and graciously end the email.

Do make it interesting – If you can’t think of anything interesting to say about yourself, why would the other person want to keep communicating with you? Mention a hobby, tell a funny anecdote, and write about something unusual you can do, whatever you do, write something that shows off how interesting and unique you are.

Do ask about the other person – Only writing about yourself is boring, and makes you look like you are self-centered. For every question that the other person asked you, ask one back. So if the other person asks where you are from in their email, write about where you are from and ask where the other person is from, or ask how long he or she lived there, or some other relevant question.

Asking questions will help you get to know the other person and will also show the other person that you are interested in hearing what they have to say.

Relationships are a two way street and it’s important to show from the beginning that you are comfortable driving on a two way street and don’t keep trying to make it a one way street where everything is about you.

Don’t make sexual references or other inappropriate comments. You don’t even know this person yet. The first email is not the time to discuss your sexual preferences, past sexual experiences, or anything related to sex.

Don’t get too personal. This is the first communication you are having with a potential date. It’s like the first conversation you have with someone in a bar or other meeting place. While you might be worried about your mortgage payment or how you are going to care for your sick mother, don’t mention that in the email. Keep your personal items to yourself until later on in the relationship.

Do keep in mind that your email is representing who you are. When you are writing your email you want to write in such a way that you are showing qualities like:

• Warmth

• A sense of humor

• A strong imagination

• Confidence in yourself

• Goals and Aspirations

• Individuality

• The ability to communicate well

• Creativity

• Kindness and tolerance

You never want your email to make you seem like you are:

• Self-centered

• Close minded or judgmental

• Negative about life

• Immature

• Materialistic

• Manipulative

• Shallow

There are thousands of people that are using online dating services, so how can you really make your profile stand out from the others? You can set yourself apart by using basic marketing techniques. After all, you are selling yourself to potential mates so use a few tried and true marketing tricks to get noticed.

Have a great “product” photo – Your photo is the first thing that people will notice. It’s ok if you’re not a supermodel; you don’t have to be. But if your photo is professional quality it will really stand out. You should consider having some head shots taken by a professional photographer, or even a friend who has a nice camera and can take really great photos.

Think of your profile as your “dating resume” – Think about your profile the way you’d think about a resume. Highlight the goals that you have for a relationship so that they really stand out and write about why you are perfect for someone who shares those goals.

For example, if your goal is to get married and start a family, highlight in your profile that you have been saving for a house and that you keep yourself in great physical condition. That will tell a potential partner that you are serious about accomplishing those goals.

Don’t dwell on the negative – Don’t start ragging on previous people you have dated. Everyone has had bad relationships but you don’t need to dwell on them or bring them up in your profile. That will send a message to potential dates that you are a negative person and dwell on the past and that you don’t have a history of healthy relationships.

Pick three of your healthiest relationships, or the three that ended the best. Talk about how much you learned in those relationships to highlight that you are a loving, caring person capable of having a stable relationship. Mention that they ended well and if you are still friends with the other person mention that too. It says a lot about you as a person if you can handle a breakup with grace.

So how can you protect your personal information when you’re using an online dating site? There are some easy ways to protect yourself that don’t take a lot of effort. Just to be sure that you haven’t posted any possibly identifying information have someone you trust read over your profile before it goes live and other people can see it.

Here are some other easy ways to make sure that your personal information is protected when you’re posting an online dating profile.

Be Selective About Your Photos

When you’re looking through photo albums and boxes of photos trying to decide what photos are appropriate and what photos make you look your best you should also pay attention to the backgrounds in the photos.

Don’t post a photo online that shows you standing in front of your home where the address is visible. Don’t post photos that show any identifying features of the yard like a piece of yard furniture, a play house, a particular configuration of trees, or anything else that might make it easy to figure out which house is yours.

Don’t post a photo of you standing in the driveway next to your car where the license plate is visible. Look at the backgrounds of your photos and make sure that there are no identifying features in the backgrounds.

If you want to use a photo that does have some kind of identifying information in it, use a photo editing program to white out the identifying information. This is the best way to keep your photos from giving someone any information that might help them figure out where you live.

Never post photos of you with your young children. It’s natural to want to show off your children, but it’s never a good idea to post photos of young children on the Internet. Save the family pictures to show over dessert after you’ve gone out a few times.

You might also want to make sure that any photos you post don’t show off a tattoo, a scar, or a birth mark that might make it easy for someone you don’t know to identify you.

Be Careful What You Say

Many online dating sites offer chat rooms to users or let users use a private instant messaging application to get to know others on the site. This can be a very useful, very fun way to get acquainted and to see if you want to take the next step with that person.

However, sitting at home in front of the computer, it’s easy to feel a sense of intimacy with someone who is still a stranger. You don’t really know who is on the other side of that chat screen or who is lurking in the chat room so make sure that you don’t slip and give out personal information in a chat room or during an instant message session.

You can talk about your life but just don’t go into too much detail on anything personal. For example, you can talk about how much you like your job but don’t mention specifically where you work or what your job title is. You can mention a favorite store where you like to shop but don’t say that you like it because it’s just a mile from your house.

Don’t Give Out Personal Information Too Fast

When you start emailing and chatting with someone on an online dating site, you might feel a sense of immediate connection to that person that makes you feel really comfortable sharing a lot of your feelings with that person. It’s good to share your feelings, but make sure that you don’t share too much of your personal information too soon.

If you want to start talking on the phone with this person, ask for their number and you call them first, or give them your work phone number. Don’t give out your address or even your last name until you have talked to this person on the phone and feel comfortable sharing more personal details.

Don’t be afraid to take it slow when it comes to communication. Wait until you feel comfortable to start talking on the phone or setting up a personal meeting with someone that you meet on an online dating site.

Even though it pays to be cautious and protect your personal information, don’t let that deter you from trying online dating. Online dating is perfectly safe when you take normal precautions to make sure that your personal information doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.

When it comes to online dating, you need to walk a fine line deciding how much personal information to post. On one hand, you want your profile to be honest and on the other hand this information is available to anyone searching for it so you need to be careful.

Even though you might feel totally safe posting your information when you’re sitting at home in your living room you should be very careful posting any information that might give someone enough to go on to identify you in real life.

No one wants to think that their online dating profile could be seen by someone who is a criminal or someone who has ulterior motives in looking for a partner but the fact is that there are all kinds of people who use online dating services for all kinds of reasons.

Aside from the risk of attracting stalkers, your online personal profile might attract thieves who are searching for victims to steal their identities. Identity theft is one of the most common crimes in the country today. You need to be vigilant about protecting your personal information so that you don’t end up a victim of identity theft.

Most Internet dating sites don’t screen their applicants very thoroughly so your information could be seen by the potential love of your life but also by someone who just wants to harm you.

You can be honest about your personality and give people who are browsing your profile a sense of who you are without revealing too much identifying information if you are careful. Express your thoughts and feelings but leave out the facts.

You should also be cautious of profiles that give away too much information. Chances are those profiles are not going to be legitimate because no one would post a profile that gave away their real name, city, phone number, or other identifying information. Usually, if someone posts personal information like that in their profile they have some other reason for it besides meeting a potential partner.

When you first start going into chat rooms or using instant messaging you might be confused by the many abbreviations that are used in online chat. Chatters often use abbreviations because using abbreviations is faster than typing out a lot of words. There are many different abbreviations for common phrases but here are some of the most often used chat abbreviations that you will need to know:

• A/S/L – Age/Sex/Location

• ASAP – As Soon As Possible

• BBL – Be Back Later

• BRB – Be Right Back

• BTW – By the Way

• CYA – See ya

• FYI – For Your Information

• GMBO – Giggling My Butt Off

• GMTA – Great Minds Think Alike

• H&K – Hug and Kiss

• IC – I See

• JMO/IMO – Just My Opinion/In my opinion

• KIT – Keep in Touch

• KOC/KOTC – Kiss on Cheek/Kiss on the Cheek

• L8R – Later

• LOL – Laughing Out Loud

• LTNS – Long Time No See

• OMG – Oh My God!

• PM – Private Message

• ROFL – Rolling On Floor Laughing

• ROFLMTO – Rolling On Floor Laughing My Tail Off

• SWAK – Sealed with a Kiss

• SYS – See You Soon

• TTFN – Ta Ta for Now

• TTYL – Talk to You Later

Those phrases will get you started when you first venture into online chatting or instant messaging. You’ll get the hang of Netspeak pretty quickly; it just takes some practice to get really good at it.

Many online dating sites now offer chat applications on their sites so that users can chat with one another and get to know each other a little before taking the step of emailing or meeting each other. Talking in online chat rooms or using instant messaging to talk one on one with a potential date can be intimidating if you don’t spend a lot of time in chat rooms.

Chat rooms and instant messaging applications have their own lingo, and conversations tend to move very fast. If you plan on spending some time in an online dating service chat room or using instant messaging to talk to someone, there are a few rules of etiquette that you should know.

Never use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS – this is considered shouting, and it’s considered to be rude.

Never reveal personal information in chat – just like other areas of the net you should not reveal your real name or any other personal information in a chat room or when you’re using instant messaging.

Be respectful – Whenever you are conversing with someone else online you should be respectful. Talking online is no different than talking to someone in real life. You would never walk up to someone on the street and demand that they justify their beliefs, or ridicule them for something they said, or make fun of them so you shouldn’t do it online either.

Don’t just jump in – When you first enter a chat room, don’t immediately announce your presence and divert the conversation. Wait a minute or two and read the conversation that is already going on. Join in if you want but don’t disrupt the whole room when you enter.

Watch your language – You never know if someone in the chat room or the person with whom you are instant messaging might be offended by coarse language so it’s best not to use it. Keep your tone warm but professional and don’t use any language that you wouldn’t shout out loud on the street.

If you want your online profile to get any looks at all you have to post photos. Photos are essential to an online dating profile.

Not because people are shallow and will only date supermodels but because it’s important to have an idea of what someone looks like in order to know if you find them attractive.

It’s all well and good to say that someone should love you for who you are and not what you look like but is that really realistic?

Would you be willing to date someone if you had no idea what they looked like or would you want to see a photo first to make sure that you found that person at least a little physically attractive?

No one wants to be judged on their appearance but the fact is that we do use visual cues to try and tell what a person is like. That doesn’t mean that no one will want to go out with you if you don’t look like a supermodel.

Different people are attracted to different things in people. One person might find you attractive because of your eyes. Another might like your nose. You just never know.

Even if you have a great profile, it won’t get seen without photos. The photos that you use should be photos showing what you currently look like, or photos taken within a year. Don’t use your old high school yearbook photo and don’t use a photo from Halloween where you are in costume and no one can see what you really look like.

Even though it might feel like a risk to post a photo of yourself on your profile and you might worry about getting rejected, it’s the only way you’re going to find someone that will really love you just the way you are. And isn’t that the point? To find that person who will love you for exactly who you are? To find that person, you need to post photos in your online dating profile.

Whatever you write in your profile, the most important thing is that you are honest. If you are trying online dating to find a partner that you want to have a serious relationship with, you need to start out on the right foot with that person. Being honest is starting out on the right foot.

If you are not honest about things in your life like your appearance, your job, your financial situation, the status of your divorce, or other things in your life, eventually the truth will come out if you do start to develop a good relationship with someone. It will be a lot harder to tell the truth after the relationship has started so avoid that problem altogether by being honest up front.

It’s always hard to put yourself out there and it can be tempting to embellish the truth a little bit to make yourself seem more attractive or more like someone you want to be rather than who you are. No one wants to be vulnerable when looking for a partner and telling the truth makes you vulnerable because if someone rejects you they are rejecting you for who you are and that can hurt.

But to be successful at dating you need to grow a thick skin and be ready to face a little rejection when necessary. You want to find a life partner right? If you want to attract someone that you can spend the next thirty or so years with, you need to be honest about who you are, what you’re looking for, and what your goals are.

Now that doesn’t mean that you have to be so honest that you make yourself sound less attractive than you are. Just because you’re not a supermodel doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful. Just because you’re not a college professor doesn’t mean you’re stupid. Don’t run yourself down. Word your profile carefully so that everything comes across in a positive way.

The best way to tell if you have a good profile is to read it over objectively as if you were just another person on the site who found the profile. Read it and ask yourself if you would be interested in meeting that person. If the answer is yes then your profile is ready to go.

If the answer is no, you have some more work to do! Edit and re-write your profile as much as you need to in order to make it the best it can be. Ask a family member or friend to read it over and add their suggestions before you post it online.

Once you have selected the online dating service that you want to use, it’s time to start writing your online profile. Writing your profile is very important. While your photos might draw in prospective dates, it’s your profile that will make them want to know more, so your profile needs to capture your personality while putting your best foot forward and showing off your attributes.

Here are 10 tips for writing a winning personal profile for online dating:

Hold some things back – If the first thing a potential match sees in your profile is that you are in the middle of a nasty divorce or you just lost your job they will probably not stop to check you out. It’s good to be honest, but you need to keep some things that might not show you in a positive light under wraps at first.

You shouldn’t reveal too much personal information. Your online profile also should be clear about what you are looking for to prevent any confusion and to help narrow down your choices. Writing an online personal profile for a dating site is a real art form.

Watch your tone – You should also always keep in mind the tone of your profile. Sometimes, dry humor or sarcasm doesn’t translate well to the Web. When you think that you have written something that might come across more harsh or bitter than you meant it to be, make sure you have a friend or loved one read it over to see what the tone is before you post it.

Make your introductory line unique – Creating a unique opening line that shows off your personality can take some thought but it’s worth it. Don’t use a traditional line that a million other people have used like “SWF seeking Husband” or “DWM seeking College Cutie.” Put some effort into making your opening line fun and personal.

If you like gardening, then try something like, “Green thumb seeks matching gardening glove” or “Dog lover seeks partner for romps at the dog park.” To keep your opening line fresh, try changing it every few weeks. This will also help you draw new potential dates.

Post current photos – Photo posting can get tricky. You should post photos that show the real you, so they should be current. You should post two photos. One should be a close up of your face and one should be a larger, full body shot if possible. Don’t feel intimidated if you don’t look like a super model. It’s important to be up front about your appearance.

When posting photos, you should also think about what the photos say about you. If you’re looking for a long term relationship you should probably not post photos of yourself drunk in a bar with your friends. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, avoid posting photos that are too provocative.

Your photos are representing you, so choose carefully. Your photos don’t have to be professionally done, but the photos should be clear and focused. Your photos should show your personality so consider posting a photo of yourself doing something you enjoy.

No checklists – You might have an internal list of qualities that you want your potential mate to have, but don’t post that list in your profile. If your profile contains a laundry list of qualities that you demand in a mate it will scare away a lot of potential dates. It makes you look shallow and calculating.

Lose the lists. There will be plenty of time to consider how each date rates with the list once you’ve actually had a date. When you are describing your ideal date, don’t list more than three qualities that you want your potential mate to have. This will help keep your expectations realistic and make you look more attractive.

Think small – Even though you might have a lot to say, it’s important to make sure that you write in small chunks. Keep each paragraph to three or four sentences and use lots of small paragraphs instead of a long essay.

Remember, this isn’t a resume; it’s to show off who you are. Organize your thoughts. Use short sentences and keep the information simple. You don’t need to go into great detail about your job, your education, or other accomplishments. Leave that information to discuss on your first date.

Instead, talk about things that will reveal some of your personality. Talk about a book that you loved and why it touched you. Or write about the first rock concert you attended and why it was memorable.

Make it funny – Having a sense of humor is a highly desirable quality. Most people look for partners who have a good sense of humor. Keep the tone of your profile light and interject some humor here and there. A good way to do that is to write about a situation where you looked foolish or were embarrassed and make fun of it to show that you have a sense of humor and can laugh at yourself.

Talk specifically about your hobbies – Making your interests seem too broad is a common mistake that people make when filling out online profiles. Most people put too many general interests down as hobbies.

Do you really like to walk on the beach, go for long walks, and watch sunsets? Talk specifically about what you like to do instead of writing what you think sounds good.

If you like to ride horses, talk about how you got into riding horses and how often you ride, whether or not you have a horse, and facts like that. If you like to go to baseball games, say that you like baseball and what your favorite team is and how many games you usually go to each season.

It’s ok to only talk about one or two hobbies. Being specific about one or two things is better than being vague and listing five or nine hobbies. Don’t talk about more than three hobbies in your profile.

Make a pitch – Remember that you’re selling yourself in this profile. Your profile is to tell people why they should get to know you. Don’t put anything negative about yourself in your profile. You need to sell yourself as if you were selling a product. In one of your last paragraphs, write three reasons that you are fabulously exciting and unique. Tell the truth, but put the most positive spin that you can on the truth.

Be confident but don’t brag – Bragging is a big turn off. Confidence is a big turn on. Do you know the difference? Make sure that your profile shows you as being confident but not bragging.

Sometimes, it can be hard to know the difference. If you’re not sure if your profile makes you sound boastful instead of confident, read it out loud. Would you think that the person behind those words was bragging or just confident? If the words sound like you’re bragging, you need to keep editing.

Editing your online personals profile is a process. Be prepared to take some time and really put some thought into your profile. The difference between finding the love of your life or not could come down to how well written your profile is.

When it comes to choosing the right online dating service you have a lot of options so take your time and look at a few different online dating services; don’t just sign up for the first one that you find. Here are some tips to help you choose the perfect online dating service for you.

Know what you’re looking for – Before you try to find an online dating service, decide what you are looking for. Do you want a short term relationship or are you looking for something more lasting? Is it important to you that your potential partner is a member of your religious faith or shares your heritage?

Some people want a site that caters to a particular age group, or only to people who are divorced, or only to parents. If that is a deal breaker for you and the partner you want must have that qualification then you should look for a dating service that specializes in catering to those kinds of people.

There are online dating services that cater to all different kinds of people so chances are good that you can find an online dating service that only serves people of your religious background, or only serves people of your political affiliation and so on. If none of those things are particularly important to you then a general dating site might give you more options.

Site popularity – If you pick a site that is too specialized or a site that is new and doesn’t yet have a lot of traffic you might be limiting your choices. A site that doesn’t have a lot of traffic also won’t have a lot of profiles to choose from. If you browse the site and it doesn’t seem very well populated or doesn’t seem to have a lot of members then you might want to choose another site.

You can also do a search by zip code to see how many members there are in your local area. If there are thousands of people that use the site but they live across the country from you and you are looking for a local relationship then that site probably won’t work that well for you.

Is the site user-friendly? Since you will be spending a lot of time on the website, it’s important that the site be user-friendly and easy to navigate. If the site is full of Flash and bells and whistles but takes five minutes to load on your computer then it will probably be very frustrating for you to use.

A good online dating service site should not have too many graphics. It should also have a clear navigation bar and easy to understand site map. The site should load quickly and be easy on the eyes. You will be spending a lot of time on the site so make sure that you can get around it easily.

Is your information secure? Never assume that your personal information is secure on a website. Always read the Privacy Policy carefully to see if the company is going to sell your personal information, including your name, address, phone number, or email address to other companies. Usually, the site will give you a chance to opt out of any marketing; make sure that you opt out or you will get lots of junk mail and spam.

You should also read the Terms and Conditions to find out if your personal information is always hidden from prospective matches and how well the company protects your identity.

What tools does the site offer? Using the right tools can be very important to weed through the profiles on an online dating site, especially for a new user. You should sign up with a site that offers clear, easy to understand directions and tools on how to search for the criteria that are important to you.

A lot of sites also offer matching tools where you take a quiz and answer some questions and the site will generate a list of potential matches for you. This tool can be very useful for people who are new to online dating.

When you are looking at online dating sites to see which one you want to sign up for you should browse through the tools that they offer to see if they would be useful to you or not.

Cost and Billing Procedures – Before you sign up for an online dating site, decide how much money you can afford to spend per month. There are sites that cost just a few dollars a month and other sites that can be quite expensive. Before you go through the effort to sign up and build a profile, make sure that you can afford the service and all of the costs, up front and hidden.

You should also find out how they bill customers and when. Some sites will automatically deduct the monthly fee from a credit card or bank account whether you use the site or not. Other sites will have you purchase credits that you use to communicate with other members. When your credits are used up you can usually use a credit card to buy more.

If the site takes money automatically from your bank account or credit card, make sure that you make a note of the billing date so that you aren’t surprised by a charge to your account on that day of the month.

There are a lot of myths about online dating floating around. Here are 5 of the most common myths that people believe about online dating.

Online Dating Isn’t Safe

This is the myth that keeps most people from trying online dating. But it’s just a myth. The truth is that online dating is just as safe if not safer than traditional dating.

Think of it this way. If you meet someone in a bar and agree to go out for dinner with that person, how much do you really know about that person? If you think that you’re safer because you met the person in real life and he or she seems safe, think again.

Giving your phone number or address to someone that you just met isn’t safe just because the person seems non-threatening. On any date you should take certain precautions for safety, but online dating is perfectly safe.

When you are finding potential dates online you can browse their profiles first, control how much personal information you give them, and learn their name before you meet. If you want, you can even do a background check on the person before you go out on the date.

People Who Use Online Dating Just Want Hook Ups

This myth is also untrue. Some people are just looking for hook ups or no strings attached relationships but many are looking for stable long-term relationships that may even result in marriage and family.

If you are only interested in finding a partner for a long term relationship it’s important to be up front about that from the start. Use an online dating service that specializes in putting people together with potential matches who are also interested in long term relationships, not casual dating.

The Internet can be a far better place to find a partner that is interested in a long term relationship than a bar or nightclub, or other places where singles traditionally go to meet partners.

Only Geeks or loosers use online dating

In the early days of online dating, that was probably true. Back then, the Internet was a tool that was used primarily by geeks so the majority of the people who would have been using online dating back in the day were probably geeky.

But today everyone uses the Internet. Young professionals, college students, parents, and grandparents all go online regularly. These days, every type of person uses the Internet, and online dating too. In fact, online dating has become so passé that there have been mainstream movies built around the premise of online dating and online dating is regularly mentioned in movies and television.

Online dating works for everyone, and all different kinds of people use online dating these days. Online dating also used to have the kind of stigma reserved for personal ads in the newspaper or “Lonely Hearts” columns in magazines but that was definitely in the past. These days, online dating is trendy and millions of single people are trying it every day.

Everyone lies about themselves online

Worried that the “perfect” potential date is a little too perfect and isn’t real? Well, sometimes people do lie about themselves online but most people don’t.

People try online dating because they want to find a real friend and partner; someone who wants them for who they are. It would be a little silly to lie about yourself when you’re looking for someone to love you for who you are, wouldn’t it?

People who are just looking for casual flings might lie about themselves in their profiles, but most online daters are very honest because they are very serious. If people are going to lie, they usually lie about their appearance. They might use a photo that is several years old to hide the fact that they are a little heavier now, or a little balder, or have a few more wrinkles.

But really that is no different than wearing a padded bra on a date, or a girdle, or camouflaging other perceived flaws. When it comes to lying about other things like jobs, income, and past relationships, people are no more likely to lie about things online than they are to lie about them if you met them in a more traditional setting.

Online Dating doesn’t work

This is probably the biggest myth about online dating and the one myth that more people believe than any other. The truth is that online dating does work. Millions of people have married the partners they met through online dating.

Online dating doesn’t work for everyone, that’s true. But it often does work for people who are committed to finding love. You might have to go on lots of dates that don’t work out and you have to be willing to always try again. You might find a perfect partner after a week or you might not find that perfect person for months or even years. But if you are persistent, patient, and willing to wait to find that perfect person then online dating can work for you too.

Whether or not you have success at online dating depends a great deal on what online dating service you choose. There are a lot of them out there, and all of them are geared towards different audiences. In order to pick the right online dating service it’s important to be clear about what your priorities are.

If your priority is a long term relationship or marriage, then you need to pick an online dating service that is made up primarily of people who want that also. If your priority is finding someone of the same religious background, or someone who shares the same political views, or lives the same lifestyle that you do then you need to find an online dating service that was created for people who fit that criteria.

Cost might also be a consideration for you. Some online dating services are free. Some have a flat monthly fee. Some others offer two types of service; basic services that are free and more advanced tools that you will be charged a monthly fee for. Usually, an online dating service that charges a fee will allow you to use the site free of charge for a trial period to see if the site is what you want.

No matter what online dating service you choose to use, the idea that online dating doesn’t work is just a myth. Online dating is far more successful than trying to meet someone in a bar or in a more traditional way, so give it a try!

You have nothing to lose by trying online dating except a few hours of your time and, you never know, you might find the love of your life while searching profiles from the privacy of your own home. Let’s get started.

The first thing that you will need to do is pick an online dating service to use. There are so many different online dating sites it can be tricky to know which ones have what you’re looking for and which ones don’t.

So why should you choose online dating? After all, there are all kinds of singles groups, speed dating events, and other ways that you can try to meet people. What makes Internet dating so special? Why is online dating so much better than more traditional ways to meet people?

There are several huge advantages that online dating has over more traditional dating methods. Here are just a few of the reasons that you should choose online dating.

Convenience – You can browse personal ads, answer emails, and change your own profile whenever you have spare time. Early in the morning, late at night, during your lunch hour; it doesn’t matter.

If you are trying to meet people at a speed dating event or singles dinner then you have to work the day and time of the event into your schedule and you might have to give up something fun or even leave work early to attend. Online dating is much more convenient for most people.

Selection – When you are browsing through personal ads and profiles online you can look at profiles and ads posted by people who live in the same town as you, the same state as you, and even the same neighborhood as you if that’s what you want.

You can also decide not to limit your search and look for a potential partner anywhere in the world. If you are frustrated because the people that you meet locally never seem to be a good fit for you then you can look in another state or even another country for a potential partner. The only limit when you are dating online is how far you’d be willing to travel, or move, for the right partner.

Security – Most online dating sites have security measures built in to protect your privacy. Until you choose to give out personal information like your name, address, phone number, or personal email address, that information is protected and all communication is done through the dating service website.

In today’s world where identity theft is a huge problem having security measures like that can really protect your identity. It can also protect you from stalkers or other predators.

If you meet someone in a bar and give that person your phone number or address you don’t know what that person will do with that information because that person is still a stranger. By dating online you can guard your personal information until you feel safe sharing it.

No Confrontation – If you are approached by a stranger at a bar or stuck with someone you don’t like at a singles event, it might be very awkward or uncomfortable to have to tell that person that you’re not interested in them. Sometimes, people might not want to take no for an answer. When you are using online dating you can let someone know with a quick email that you’re not interested or you can just block them from contacting you.

Affordability – Unlike pricey dating services, singles events, or matchmakers, online dating is relatively affordable. Some sites are free; others charge a small monthly fee. For that fee you can get all the security measures that the site offers plus you can browse as many profiles and talk to as many people as you want.

Online Dating for the Computer Shy – a step-by-step guide for computer beginners
Many online dating sites also have special tools for customers including articles on how to build the perfect profile, compatibility tests, guided searches that can help you find a potential date that meets all of your criteria, and more.

You decide when to meet – With online dating you are not trapped into a physical meeting before you feel ready. You can meet a potential date anytime you want, when you feel comfortable. Some people will want to meet right away and others will want to get to know each other a bit first. You can make a date with someone who interests you whenever you feel it’s time.

Everyone’s doing it – Chances are very good that you already know at least one
Online Dating for the Computer Shy – a step-by-step guide for computer beginners couple that has met online. Some people still try to hide the fact that they met through online dating but most couples are happy to own up to the fact that they were using online dating.

Almost anywhere you go you can find happy couples who met using online dating. The statistics prove that online dating really works, if you are willing to put the time and effort into making it work. Online dating can be much more successful than traditional dating methods.